How Long Should You Keep Sympathy Cards?

A few days ago, I was cleaning out my office desk when I came across a small stack of sympathy cards from my sister’s passing in 2017.

There was a practical pull to discard them. They were old, I hadn’t looked at them in years, and they no longer served an obvious purpose. At the same time, there was a quieter hesitation I couldn’t ignore.

Instead of pushing past it, I paused. I reread the cards and was surprised by the comfort they brought. Not in an overwhelming way, but in a steady, grounding one. They reminded me of the people who showed up, the care they took, and the words they chose. I realized I wouldn’t mind stumbling upon that comfort again someday, even years from now.

That moment brought me back to a question many people carry, often silently:

How long are you supposed to keep sympathy cards?

There is no rule or timeline

There is no set timeline for keeping sympathy cards. There is no point at which you should feel ready to let them go, and no expectation that you will ever reach that moment.

Some people keep them indefinitely. Others hold onto them for months or years before deciding what to do. Some choose to let them go once the initial intensity of grief has softened. Each of these choices is valid.

Sympathy cards are not paperwork. They are emotional artifacts, and emotional artifacts do not follow schedules.

Why letting them go can feel complicated

For many people, the difficulty isn’t about space. Sympathy cards don’t take up much room. What makes the decision hard is the emotional weight attached to them.

Guilt often plays a role. There can be a fear that throwing them away means discarding the care behind them, or that letting them go looks like forgetting. Sometimes there’s a quiet worry that releasing them diminishes the love that was expressed.

There can also be comfort in keeping them, even years later. Reading familiar names, seeing handwriting, or remembering people who reached out — some of whom you may no longer be in close contact with — can be grounding in unexpected ways.

What I’ve chosen to do

I’ve kept every sympathy card I’ve received in a memory box alongside other keepsakes. They don’t have a dedicated space of their own, and I’m not entirely sure why. I only know that, nearly nine years later, I still haven’t felt comfortable throwing them away.

They sit among other reminders of love — cards, notes, and small pieces of a life that mattered. For now, that feels right.

Practical options if you’re unsure

If you’re uncertain about what to do, there are several gentle approaches you can consider. You don’t have to choose just one, and you can change your mind over time.

You might decide to keep all of the cards in a memory box or drawer where they’re safe but not overwhelming. Some people find it helpful to give them their own dedicated space so they feel intentional rather than tucked away.

Others choose to keep only a few that feel especially meaningful, or to photograph or scan the cards so the words are preserved without holding onto the physical items. And for some, letting the cards go entirely is the healthiest choice, especially if rereading them brings more pain than comfort.

Letting yourself decide

It’s okay to take whatever approach feels right for you. It’s okay to keep sympathy cards for as long as you’d like, and it’s okay to discard them if they bring discomfort rather than peace.

There is no rule to follow and no timeline to meet. The only real guidance is to listen to what feels right in your heart and mind, body and soul.

Grief often asks us to slow down and pay attention. Sometimes that means honoring hesitation instead of overriding it with practicality. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choice, and you’re not doing it wrong.

You’re simply responding to love in the way that feels most supportive to you.